Spike sighed, watching as the smoke he’d just exhaled drifted up. What a bloody horrible night. He groaned as he recalled the pained betrayal in Buffy’s eyes and the simmering fury in Xander’s. Spike hadn’t meant to hurt anyone, especially not Xander. He and Anya had both been hurting and she and Spike had turned to each other in a mutual need for comfort and to feel wanted. He took another drag on his cigarette, welcoming the slight burn of nicotine sliding into his lungs. Xander would have gladly hacked him into bits with that ax if Anya hadn’t stopped him. Sad thing was, Spike didn’t blame Xander at all. Hell, he was surprised that Buffy hadn’t offered the whelp a hand in trying to stake him. Spike would have laughed at himself if he could, after all, here he was an ‘evil, soulless thing’ and he actually felt guilty for hurting a boy’s feelings. It made him feel like shit when he remembered the raw, wounded look in Xander’s beautiful, chocolatey eyes. He knew he should be thinking about how Xander left Anya at the altar and how they were justified in trying to move on past their pain, but Spike knew that Xander still loved Anya as much as he had loved Buffy. Wait a bloody minute...had?

The door to his crypt burst open before he could get his brain around his last thought and he shot up from his chair as a furious Xander stormed in. He managed to crush out his cigarette before he was thrown up against the wall. Here we go again. He thought, but like the first time, he refused to fight the boy. Somehow, he knew it hadn’t been over when Xander stormed off after finding out about him and Buffy. The boy had exchanged heated words with Anya and Xander had insulted him. Feeling remorse over how he’d taken advantage of Anya, he’d been hurt by Xander’s words when the mortal had called him, an evil, soulless thing. Feeling completely defeated, Spike had said that sleeping with him had been good enough for Buffy. The whelp hadn’t appreciated Spike dragging his precious Buffy’s name through the mud, but the look of utter betrayal in Xander’s dark eyes, when Buffy had confirmed it with her uneasy silence and then the soft way she’d said the boy’s name, had been painful to witness.

"Xander..." He began softly, wanting to apologize somehow without insulting the boy or sounding insincere. Xander’s fist slammed into his mouth. He groaned in pain, feeling the blood trickle down his chin, tasting it in his mouth. "Is that all you’ve got? Come on, mate..." Xander growled at what he perceived as a taunt and a challenge and thrust his fist into Spike’s stomach with a force that surprised the vamp. Spike doubled over in pain as Xander landed blow after blow to his face, head, and torso. He still didn’t fight back, much to Xander’s irritation.

"You bastard! You had no right to touch her! You had no right!" Xander’s voice broke and he began to sob. "No right! You’re nothing! Buffy knows it, too! You proved it tonight! I hate you! I hate you!" He grabbed hold of the vamp and buried his face in Spike’s duster, his body shaking with each heart-rending sob. Spike simply stood there, letting the whelp get it all out of his system. Finally, Xander raised his head and Spike flattened himself against the wall...Angelus was one evil bastard, but at this moment, he had nothing on Xander Harris. Shit...he was seconds away from being a big pile of Spike dust. "Turn around." The boy snarled, his chocolate-colored eyes glittering with fury. Xander shrugged out of his brown jacket and took off his button-down blue shirt, tossing them aside. He stood there in his black tee-shirt and jeans, glaring at the vampire, getting more and more impatient as the blond continued to stare at him in shock. Finally, the vamp found his voice.

"Wot?" Spike asked, bewildered. Turn around? What in all of bloody hell was Harris doing now? He yelped as Xander spun him around and yanked off his duster and shoved him back up against the wall. Spike panicked and began to struggle when he felt Xander’s hands grabbing at his pants. "Oi! Get yer hands off my pants, ya bleedin’ wanker!" He growled, trying to shake the bigger man off of him. 'Wait a soddin' minute. Harris isn't bent.' was the only thought going through Spike’s head as the boy tugged at the snap on Spike’s black jeans, even though he knew how stupid that thought was. Angelus hadn’t been either, but that never stopped his Sire from taking him on a daily basis until he’d been saddled with that boring, pesky, poufy soul. "You don’t want to do this...you’ll regret it come dawn..." Damn this bleedin' chip to the black depths of hell...he couldn’t even fight back.

"Shut up, Spike!" Xander hissed, his hands still busy, trying not to let himself think about what he was going to do to the other man. He quickly yanked down Spike’s skin-tight pants, not really surprised that the vamp had gone commando. He pressed Spike against the wall with his forearm as he struggled with his own pants. "It’s my turn to take something from you." Shoving his jeans and boxers past his hips and spitting into his hand, he lubed himself up, and thrust deep into Spike’s pale ass. He heard the vampire hiss and groan in pain and he began to pound into the bleached blond. Xander moaned as Spike’s muscles clenched tightly around him and he wondered briefly why he’d never fucked a guy before, this was incredible. Xander ground his pelvis against Spike’s ass. God, Spike was so tight and his body was nice and cool. It felt amazing to bury himself over and over again in this sweet tightness, so good that he almost forgot that he was doing this against Spike’s will. He forced his guilt and his own horror at what he was doing deep inside himself so that the only thing driving him was his fury at Anya and Spike.

Spike groaned as Xander’s cock rammed into him. He’d forgotten how much it hurt at first to be taken forcefully. Angelus had thoroughly enjoyed every inch of Spike’s body in the past, but it had been awhile. His demon sat up and purred, the pain familiar and welcoming. The boy kept thrusting into him and soon the pain became pleasure. He heard Xander moan and felt the boy rub up against his ass. The scent of Xander’s pheromones filled his senses and he heard himself whimper as pleasure surged through him. He felt Xander’s warm, wet lips sucking on the back of his neck and shuddered as the boy trailed hot kisses to his ear, gasping as Xander’s moist, warm breath washed over his chilled skin.

"How does it feel, Spike? Hmmmm? How does it feel to take it up the ass from someone you trust? As far as I’m concerned, you raped me when you slept with her. Tell me, Spike, how do you like it?" Xander murmured into Spike ear, taunting the smaller man. Spike shuddered visibly as Xander’s tongue circled the shell of his ear, punctuating his mocking query.

"Xander..." He moaned, wanting to explain, hating himself for enjoying this. "I didn’t mean..." ‘I just wanted to feel...something...’ Buffy’s words echoed in his head. They were followed by Xander’s cutting words to Anya. ‘You let that evil, soulless thing touch you. You wanted me to feel something? Congratulations. It worked. I look at you and I feel sick...cause you had sex with...that.'  He angrily shook his head, trying to stop hearing those hurtful words. Damn it, he was not a thing! And despite what Harris thought, he did have feelings and words hurt him just as much as the next bloke. He felt a knot tighten in his stomach at the memory of Xander’s insults.

"Yes, you did! You wouldn’t have touched her if you didn’t mean to! Don’t lie to me now, you bastard!" He grabbed the vampire by the hair and yanked Spike’s head back, earning a soft growl. "You did it to hurt Buffy and me."

"No! Buffy, maybe, but not you..." Spike managed to say, gasping as Xander’s hand fisted more tightly in his hair. "Ahh!" He moaned harshly as Xander rolled his hips. He heard Xander whimper as he involuntarily pushed back into the boy’s thrusts. Xander panted, another whimper escaping his lips as he let go of Spike’s hair and grabbed Spike’s hips in a bruising grip. Spike hissed, but didn’t try to pull away.

"Why? Because you care so much about me and my feelings? Give it up, Fangless. You’ve tried to kill me on more than one occasion, why the hell should I believe you?" Xander slammed his hips forward, making Spike cry out. The sound was definitely not one of pain. Xander gave a cold smile. "Don’t tell me you’re getting off on this? William the Bloody, a submissive bottom? Who would have ever guessed?" He reached around and roughly pinched a tight nipple. Spike writhed against him, panting and moaning. Unspeakably aroused by the sexy noises coming from the vampire’s throat, Xander scraped his teeth along Spike’s neck as he twisted the vamp’s hardened nipples. There was something unbelievably powerful about making the usually arrogant, sometimes cruel vamp moan his name in that sexy, breathy voice.

"Xander...please...oh, God...ohhhh God...ohhhh yeah...just like that...ohhh...so good...ahhhh...Xander...Xander...XANDER! OH! OHHH GOD!" Spike screamed the boy’s name as he came violently against the wall. Xander moaned, shuddering as he felt Spike’s muscles contract around his cock.

"Oh...Jesus...oh fuck..." Xander groaned, pounding into Spike. Spike tightened his muscles, giving Xander as much pleasure as possible. Xander cried out softly and dropped his head forward against Spike’s, rubbing his forehead against the surprisingly soft bleached curls. 'Don't you get it? You were the only one who understood me. How could you do this to me? I trusted you, damn it...I thought you were different.'  He bit his lip to keep the thought from being voiced. Spike smelled so good...felt so good...why was this happening to him? He wanted Spike with a fierceness he couldn’t explain...a fierceness that shook him to his core. His eyes stung from his unshed tears, but he didn’t stop fucking Spike.

"Come on...give yourself to me, baby...cum for me, Xander...don’t fight it, pet...you’ll feel so much better..." Spike murmured, trying to coax Xander into his orgasm. Xander closed his eyes and saw Spike and Anya fucking on the table at the Magic Box. Spike all lean and beautiful giving himself to Anya, Anya moaning and arching beneath him. The memory of the pleasure on Spike’s face was enough to send him over the edge.

"FUCK! SPIKE! OHHHH! OH GOD! OHHH FUCK!" He cried, his body jerking, his eyes closed in ecstasy as he came deep inside of Spike. Dropping his head forward again, he slowly withdrew from Spike’s body. He had just done the unthinkable, he’d raped a helpless being. Spike with his chip was no longer a physical threat. He hated himself immensely for what he had just done. In his physically and emotionally weakened state, he was unable to stop Spike from shoving him backwards. He absently pulled up his pants, zipping them, and then he forced himself to look over at Spike. The vampire wouldn’t look at Xander as he yanked up his jeans, zipping them, pushing past the boy.

"Feel better now, luv? Got all that rage out by having a go at the evil, soulless thing?" He snatched his duster up, sliding his arms into it. He dug in the pocket for a post-coital fag. Grabbing the cigarette pack, he pulled one free and flicked his lighter open. A second later, he took a drag, needing the nicotine. Xander dropped his gaze, looking like a child about to be punished. "Nothing to say for yourself, whelp? Not even a 'fuck you, Spike?' You’re losing your touch, mate." He saw Xander tense and waited for the explosion, but it didn’t come in the way he’d expected. Xander burst into tears again...deep, gasping sobs. He crumpled to his knees, his body shaking violently. "Bloody hell!" Spike swore, crushing out his cigarette and rushing to Xander’s side. "Come on, pet...up you go..." He scooped the boy up and gently re-dressed him, pulling Xander down onto the mattress that served as his bed. Pulling the crying young man close, Spike stroked Xander’s soft, sable hair, murmuring sweet, soothing words of comfort into the boy’s ear.

Xander slowly raised his head and looked at Spike. The vampire felt a bit uncomfortable being subjected to such a lengthy scrutiny, he was about to ask Xander about it when the boy did something that shocked him more than the unexpected assault. Xander leaned forward and took Spike’s mouth in a hungry kiss. Spike froze and then slowly surrendered to the boy’s warmth, Xander had the sweetest tasting mouth. They moaned into each other’s mouths, tongues delving deep. Spike rolled, easily pinning Xander beneath him as they ravished each other. They only parted when Xander finally had to rip his mouth away for much needed air. He panted as if he’d run for miles. Spike looked down at Xander...still not sure what had just happened. Xander had been furious with him and then minutes later, he was practically eating Spike up with his pretty little mouth...his pretty little mouth...swollen and wet from their kisses. Spike took an unnecessary breath and slowly sat up, his hands still on Xander’s shoulders.

"Does this mean that you forgive me then?" Spike asked, flippantly, suddenly feeling that something wasn’t right. Xander Harris hated him, would rather be dead than be in Spike’s bed. So, why was the whelp still here? Why wasn’t the boy standing over a big pile of Spike dust? "Or are you just trying to stick it to Anya? She hurts you by shagging me, so you turn around and shag me to get back at her? I thought I made you sick, yeah? Help me understand this, Xander, what is it exactly that you think you’re doing?"